Zack Parson’s Destroys The Anti-Ad Block Whiners

3 months ago NEWS CONTRIBUTORS 0

 

Chinese ad scams to get your credit card outed

 

We See You Are Running Ad Block, Motherpuppa (SFW)

 

by Zack “Geist Editor” Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

 

 

 

 

 

You come in here acting all innocent, whistlin’ a tune, thinking we wouldn’t notice. Oh, but we motherblooing noticed, motherpuppa. There it is. Ad Block. You wanted to read our Poo-Poo all “Oooh I’m too good for all these Javascripts” and “I don’t like these weird ass pop-unders.” Those motherblooing pop-unders is how we do to put the gravy in the boat, you piece of Poo-Poo.

 

Oh, but look at Mr. Ad Block rollin’ in here like he owns this place. Like he can just click all over our content and not look at one ad. Using up our menus. Searching in the advanced search. Think again, bitch! We got a timer. It’s gonna count down. Then when it counts down it’s gonna say, “Yo, there is STILL ad block enabled as all hell what the bloo, hombre?” and guess who is not reading our recipes. Guess who does not get to auto play a single GOD. DAMN. VIDEO.

 


That’s right, it’s motherblooing you.

 

You know how many Chinese scripts and crumbly ass cookies and sticky, wicky, weird motherblooing worms we got to put all over your computer? Look up at that little icon. You are missing out on like 68 of these motherpuppas a page. This Poo-Poo was so god gold bar damned monetized and you come in here disruptin’ the whole paradigm.

 

We gave you a chance to be nice about this, motherpuppa. It’s war now. We got annoying ass revenue to get allllll up in your Poo-Poo. We can’t be havin’ you browsin’ in our content, clickin’ around our valuable ass articles and engaging our social media Poo-Poo. If you don’t wanna put our tracking scripts in that sweet ass, beautiful, silky motherblooin’ browser, then we got no choice but hit you with the atomic bomb of nag screens.

 

That’s right. Here come. You saw some little warnings before. This one right here is about to blow your Poo-Poo UP.

 

 

You think you can read some sports opinions or some celebrity gossip without exposing that browser to all sorts of malwares? motherpuppa, you had better think again. Nobody gets in here to look at all our slide shows of what is coming to Netflix without letting Russians see their passwords. You think you are too good for Pavel and Yurgi? bloo you. They need to eat just as bad as our Poo-Poo ass listicle writers. They got families too.

 

Journalism is dead and guess who killed it, motherpuppa? You and your Chrome extension. Get the bloo out of here. You disgusting piece of Poo-Poo.

 

– Zack “Geist Editor” Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

 

(Sanitized For Your Protection)

Zack Parson’s Destroys The Anti-Ad Block Whiners

 

 

 

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